Christmas week is here, and there is pep in my step!
We are officially in our new house, and yes, there are a TON of things to do, and yes, I might have overdone it this weekend, but I don't even care because every little project makes a huge difference. I insulated all of the windows in the nursery (which is essentially a sun room). I insulated one window over the couch, and I an already feel a huge difference. I also cleaned the cabinets and put on new knobs (my husband thought that was a silly project, but it makes me happy and I feel ownership, and love putting my own taste into the place). We also realized that all of the fixtures (lighting, shower, sink, faucets) are in brushed nickel -- which makes sense with the coloring of the house, which is white and cream and black. But the door handles are ALL gold. So we're going to try to paint/stain them a new color instead of buying all new door handles. Since they are expensive. But that is a later project.
We have internet now (hooray!) the bug people are coming Wednesday, and the duct cleaners will be there today. And then the plumber and then after that I think we can manage the rest of the winter on our own.
I will say though, it's CRAZY expensive. I feel like we're dropping $100 dollar payments like it ain't no thang.
Anyways, on to the more relevant topic-this pregnancy!
The lines are now SUPER dark, and a CLEAR positive! Friday night after we moved (when I really did overdo it) I had some achey pain in my uterus and had a little spotting. Since then, no spotting, though I am still wearing a pad just in case (remnants of the last pregnancy fear). The weirdest thing about this pregnancy is that I don't really FEEL anything. Last time I felt pain, and it felt uncomfortable. But I just feel normal, except for sore nipples and after about two hours I get extremely tired and have to sit down. Oh, and I am constantly hungry, but that could just be because I love food.
So it's strange to have no 'pregnancy' feelings aside from knowing it's happening. I think that is a very very good sign. I am praying it is. I will be taking my little tooshie to church on Sundays with my friend and going to the Lord's house to send up every prayer I can think of to get us through these next nine months.
To be perfectly honest, I don't think it's real yet. I still feel like it is not happening. Like it's chemical, or a blighted ovum. And I Guess it could be, but that is probably, again, leftover anxiety from last time. So I will be scheduling a trip to the OB before our trip to Ireland.
Also, I keep hearing about a particular local doctor. He is a specialist, and I've now had 4 separate people recommend him to me completely randomly. So I think we need to listen to those signs and go see him. I feel absolutely terrible leaving my current OB, but like one of my friend's said, it's not about hurting feelings, it's about ensuring the best future for your baby. So today I'm going to schedule an appointment with this doctor and we'll just take it a day at a time and go from there.
Life certainly is a crazy place. How quickly it changes. How much hope, fear, love, and confusion can intertwine to create your day, month, or year. I am not going to lie, with the struggles we faced in the past year,I am a stronger person. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but I have learned so much about myself and life and I am grateful that I am learning, and a stronger person for it.
All the love to you, dear reader.
-Emily
p.s. tonight I will post the test strips progession
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