I'm sure there are people in my life who consider me a hypochondriac/worrier of grandiose proportions. Sure, I'll agree, I have my insecurities. But to say our birth story was anything short of traumatic would be a gross understatement. Before I dive into details (because they're already getting fuzzy, and I want to remember), I will say that baby is perfect, and the "I've never known love like this" emotion is a real thing...
We were called in for induction at 2:30am on August 23, 2016. I had been checked the day before and was at 2cm dilated, but my cervix was still thick and baby hadn't fully dropped. But with the GD, we weren't going past our due date of the 26th, so after discussing with our doctor, we decided to induce. Our goal was a vaginal birth - we wanted to avoid the c-section if at all possible because of my weight. I don't have anything against sections, or RCS, my doctor was just worried about wound breakdown, and with my pelvis shape we thought we could get her out on her own. The shoulder problems were still a question mark, but after weighing the options we wanted to try vaginal first.
Cue the Cytotec.
First dose of Cytotec was inserted later that morning, and they hooked me up to a saline drip. I was able to move around, but the wireless monitors were broken so I was forced to stay in about a 10' radius. (Almost everything in my room was broken - bed, wireless monitors, thermometer...) The resident OBGYN and her intern did the first dose of cytotec, and I think the pill didn't make it all the way up to the cervix. Later we would discover I was only dilating on the outside, not the inside of my cervix. We went to 'sleep' and would be checked in four hours to check progress.
Four hours later - cervix still hard, still at 2cm. No progress. Second round of Cytotec and they started me on a Pitocin drip. Contractions started coming irregularly. The external monitor wasn't extremely accurate, and we weren't getting measurements if I had to get up to use the bathroom. But I was starting to contract. This wasn't pleasant, but also not extremely painful. Four hours went by and again, no progress. So we decided to try a foley bulb.
Ladies. I can honestly tell you that in my 28 years of life I've never experienced anything as painful as a foley bulb.
What is it? It's a rubber 'balloon' shoved up your vagina past your cervix that is inflated once in position. They tie a 'stem' it's connected to to your leg and pull it out further manually every 30 minutes with the hopes of dilating you to a 4 or a 5. By now I was having killer back labor (oh, btw, baby girl was still turned sideways and that back labor is no joke. The pain of contractions were 100% happening in my back. Not like anyone describes them (hips to front in a tightening painful motion.) Oh no, back labor is like if someone is taking a blunt dagger and repeatedly digging it into your lower spine.) But I digress.
The foley bulb was misery. I almost threw up in pain (never happened to me before) and I just about broke my husbands hands. But, about an hour and a half later, it finally came out. ... I was dilated to a 3.
At this point, my doctor came to check on things, and I told her I wasn't able to move around because of the censors. She quickly remedied that and I could start sitting on the ball and laboring more naturally -- that is what helped immensely.
After all this and no progress, we assumed we were destined for a c-section, But my doctor is AMAZING and said "let's take a break". So we cut the Pitocin drip, did another Cytotec and were told to relax for the night. That was our saving grace. Without that break we'd have never made it vaginally, and a section would have been exhausting. We closed out the night watching South Park and trying to sleep.
The next day (Thurs August 25)
My cervix FINALLY started softening!! WIth that news, we started Pitocin again.
However, water wasn't broken. SO my doctor decided that was our next step. The resident on-call was scheduled to come break my water, which terrified me for some reason - probably because of the stories I've heard about the hook they use - so I bounced on my ball ferociously. Resigned to the fact it was happening, I relaxed and felt a semi-painful POP and gush of fluids. Bloody fluids. My water broke on its own!! After that, shit got real. (I also think baby girl finally twisted her head and got into place. Before this she was facing to th right - thank you baby, for the back labor love you!! ;) )
After my water broke the Pitocin (now about 2 bags in) started doing its job and the contractions were getting strong and painful. So my doctor said I could have an epidural. The epidural guy and I had a bit of a misunderstanding so he went in a bit far to the left, and the entire time my right side wasn't very "epiduraled" (as they don't really go numb). The cold sensation from the drugs going down the tube taped to my spine was by far the weirdest sensation of this whole adventure. I felt like a robot with a cooling system - and no legs.
Around this time, we had a new nurse come in. She wasn't assigned to me, but her coworkers were busy with a delivery so she filled in. I loved Sherri so much. We asked her to stay with us for delivery. Luckily my OB agreed. Sherri had seen some labors, she was calm, collected, and experienced. I felt very comfortable with her. All of the nurses were AMAZING, but some stand out, and she was one of them. I actually say that the reason we were able to have this baby vaginally is because of Sherri, who really took care of me. And also used the peanut ball to help me dilate. I can't say enough thank yous to this woman.
Alright, so now I'm drugged up, using the peanut ball (literally just an exercise ball shaped like a peanut) between my knees trying to encourage baby to make her way. Still dilated to 3cm. But finally able to relax. My husband and I watched Miss Congeniality. lol
Later that day, I started feeling off. I assumed it was my blood sugar. They were monitoring it every 4 hours, but I hadn't had breakfast, and the epidural meant I could only have soda, juice or frozen juice. I was not a happy camper, but no one could really do anything. Eventually, I started having chills. And then my blood pressure bottomed out.
It was really bad. I can honestly say that the only time I was extremely worried about my life was lying on this table, unable to move or eat, and watching my blood pressure drop to 60/40. The resident doctor was in the room eventually and helped to get my bp back up. It took about 4 doses of... some drug? What I realize now that I didn't know then is that I had started hemmoraghing. I believe the placenta / sack had started to tear away from my uterus and blood was filling up in there. I kept feeling pressure and thought it was baby's head, but everyone told me no way - i Was hardly dilated.
Finally, after stopping shaking and my BP regulated (to about 90/45) I made the nurse check me, and there was a head!! They put in internal monitors for baby since she was having decels. And they called my doctor.
What we found out later is that my doctor had decided we were going to do a c-section at that point. When the nurse called her to say she felt a head she didn't believe the nurse!! They told her to get there ASAP. She was going to be there in 30 minutes, but she really didn't have that long,because baby girl was coming! I could feel her head every time I contracted! It was surreal!!
When my doctor got to the room she double-checked, and sure enough there was head. I just remember the nurse saying "Get your gown on!" frantically. As soon as they were ready, we got my legs up and did a 'practice push'. Baby crowned and then two pushes later and she was OUT!!! My husband said she shot out into my doctor's hands. Everyone cheered at a FTM giving birth in 2 pushes, my doctor was so excited, the nurse said she hadn't seen anything like it, and another nurse said she wanted a labor as easy as mine!
They put my baby on my chest and she screamed her little head off. And settled a bit. She was covered in vernix and so disgusting but I couldn't quite believe I made this tiny human. She didn't look a thing like me- she looked just like her daddy! The cord was so long that the doctor thought they cut it and they hadn't. We donated the cord blood and were able to let it stop pulsing before cutting it. My husband didn't want to cut the cord, so the nurse did. And everything was perfect. My doctor was stitching up my second degree tear and I had skin-to-skin like we wanted. It was freaking magical!
And then my doctor's face changed and she told Dylan to go over to the warming table and "take care of the baby". At that point about 10 additional people came in (after several harried calls were made to selected residents). And the room changed.
Part 3 - Blood
We went in on Tuesday jokingly saying we would keep track of how many people had their hands in my vagina. We were at about 6 when all hell broke loose, and honestly, I am guessing after labor and delivery the number is larger than 10.
I just kept bleeding. There was so much blood. My doctor couldn't get it to stop. She called in residents and the house doctor for consultation and help. They tried stitching my torn uterus, but there was "Nothing to stitch it to". Seriously, those words were spoken. Transfusion blood was ordered and they put me back on Pit to help the uterus contract (how they typically get bleeding to stop). Nothing was working. I Just kept seeing them pull lap pads out of me. I felt like an episode of Greys Anatomy. It was surreal. I can't think of a better word to describe it than that.
My doctor kept saying "how are you doing, emily?" "are you alright?" i felt okay. I just stared at my husband and baby and watched as they did her footprints and cleaned her up. She was so small, and yet so fierce. 8 lbs 9 ounces. 21.5" long. In the 99th percentile for cranial circumference and height. And she was absolutely perfect. Her cries were so loud and demanding. I just focused on them. They got the baby swaddled and my husband had her and was sitting in the corner watching everything.
My doctor also asked if I had any history of clotting (uhhh.... seriously?) and if I had heavy periods as a kid (still do.) At my five week follow up, I will be asking her more about those questions. At the time, I just rolled my eyes.
The doctors made sure all of the placenta had been removed, and were trying to get me to stop bleeding. Sherri and the nurses got more meds that cause bleeding to stop. And they put a new line in me for the blood transfusion, which, luckily, didn't happen. My doctor finally decided to put in pads. Seriously, they stuffed me like a turkey. I think there were over 20 lap pads in me. The hope was I would stop bleeding on my own, since they couldn't do anything.
Once the blood stopped oozing, they cleaned me up, packed me up, and cleaned up the room. There was blood everywhere. On the counters, on the floor. On the bed. Like magic, everyone seemed to disappear. Maybe shock took over? All I remember was being told I was full of gauze and we'd check it in the morning to see if we had to go to OR to fix me. OH, and that I could FINALLY eat something light.
... to be continued
