10 Weeks and Counting!!!!!

Went to the doctor yesterday and got a lot of my questions answered. I am feeling so much better about things as far as care and how we will progress.

So, my crazy 'bike' hip pain is just... pregnancy. She said that she sees overweight girls, and skinny girls, all with the same symptoms. I was advised to wear looser-fitting clothing as it gets warm, because I am going to get too hot if not, and it will help my lady parts air out. Good advice in general, but hard for someone who likes to have a lot of layers! I actually stole my husband's boxers today to wear under my skirt instead of my usual bike shorts. It is definitely cooler, and not feeling a huge difference in comfortable-ness. So that worked well. I also ordered a pair of super loose shorts to wear around the house.

So, I almost had a heart attack at the appointment, because she couldn't find baby's heart beat with the doppler. Which warranted an ultrasound. The US room was busy, so we had to wait 20 minutes to get in. Once we did, baby was NOT moving. She must have been asleep, but my doctor found the HB within seconds and she was at 135.

We went and had dinner after, and baby woke up a bit. But still, it was a slow day for her. I think this heat has everyone just trying to relax. I know the uterus maintains a constant temp, but... I'm a big puddle of blah.

So here is the plan -

• Next Friday I go in for an official growth scan where we'll estimate how much she weighs. That will dictate what we do going forward. (The weight estimates can be 1 lb off in either direction, so we are taking this number with that in mind).
• The following week I go in for my 32 week appointment. From there on out, we will do non-stress tests on the baby weekly. This is because of the diabetes. So she'll hook her up and listen to her heart for 20 minutes and make sure it sounds okay. There will be a month of weekly visits. 
• IF I get put on the glucose lowering drug, the non-stress tests will happen twice weekly. As much as I love being closely monitored, that is a lot even for me. I'm not sure how I will swing it with work, but it must be done. However, we are still going to try to maintain levels with exercise and diet. That's the plan. 
• At 36 weeks she will start checking my cervix for dilation, and fluids around the baby. She looked last night and everything looked good. I am so so so relieved. 

Since anxiety stems from fear of the unknown, my biggest concerns - not enough oxygen getting to baby, previa, sleeping on my back and cutting off circulation, random still born, and deteriorating placenta  - will all be monitored at these non-stress tests. I am so beyond relieved. I know that it's going to be a lot of time at the office, but it's worth it. And I know we still have ten weeks left, so we aren't even like within reasonable delivery time, but... this is the final stretch. We've got to cross the finish line, and I'm willing to take modern medicine's help if possible.

Also, the official "when to call" regarding kick counts - If I don't feel her when I normally do, and when I take a break TO feel her and still don't, we call. The doctor's example was - if you don't really notice her moving at work, and then get home, lay on your side and have a cold drink and still nothing for an hour, you call. I mean, a lot of the advice i read online is like "babies get sleepy" but... according to my doctor, I need to call. I feel better knowing this. And having some kind of mental gauge. I am also starting to track her active times, so I know when she is usually up.

My good friend who is pregnant has opted out of all testing. I envy her laid-back demeanor, but as much as hospitals can screw things up... something about having someone smarter than me checking on this tiny human is a relief. I know it's all pretty much up to baby and the placenta at this point, but we can do what we can to make sure she is safe.

Now here is hoping blood pressure stays low and pre-eclampsia stays away.

We are so close, I am so in love with this baby... Taking in my last deep breath and soon to exhale as we round the corner on this journey called pregnancy.

10 weeks. 10 weeks. 10 weeks.  10 more Mondays!
-Emily

Monday Morning Check-In @ 23 weeks

Alright, we have made it to viability, or at least as close as possible.

Huge. Massive. Intense. INSANE. Deep breath and sigh of relief.

I know if she came right now it'd be a hit or miss situation, and we'd have problems for the rest of her life, but just knowing they'd work to save her, it makes me feel sooo much better. So, while all the prayers go up that she stays healthy and strong in there, and grows fully and comes on time, I am also sleeping a little more restfully knowing we are at that point in this pregnancy.

That being said, I was reading some horror stories of placental abruption, and freaking myself out. Stupid internet stories. It's good to be aware, but I also think it's almost time for me to shut off the web and stop worrying. At this point it can only hurt things.

Anyways, this weekend she was soo active. Dancing around and kicking her little house like she was  a ninja. Both days she was up at 4:30, again at 6:00 and off and on throughout the day. Granted, I was laying down the majority of the weekend. Today, I didn't feel her until 8:30. I'm not going to lie, it had me a little panicked.

Friday night I moved our table, and I think I pulled a muscle in my side. So that is freaking me out too. Luckily I get to go see my doctor on Wednesday, and I am hoping she will let me see her, show me she doesn't have a cord problem right now, and just make me rest easier. Sooo hopeful. She knows about my anxiety, so maybe she'll give us another sneak preview of our little one.

One thing I did realize this weekend is that even if something goes wrong I can't withhold my love from her. If she doesn't make it, then all we have to give her is this time. So I need to give her every ounce of love I can muster. And if we make it through this, she'll have it for the rest of her life, and if not, I'll know she was the most loved baby while she was with us. I know that is maybe not a super healthy mentality, but I think it's the healthiest mentality I can have with where I'm at in my anxiety and fear of things going south. If that makes any sense.

So for now, we just take it a day at a time, and see what happens. Friday and Saturday I felt very ill. Like sick, nauseous, hot, agitated. Sunday was better. Today, again, I don't feel very good. Just uncomfortable, pain going from my left rib down to my left hip. Agitated, irritated, and sleepy. I can't wait to go home and lay down and relax. I am looking forward to a short workday on Wednesday and a trip to my doctor. I am also seirously looking forward to pools opening. With the PGP hip pain I haven't been walking as much, and I can feel how that is affecting my body. I am ready for some weightless exercise.

So, keep  sending prayers if you are, and I'll keep trying to get this little bean through safely, and hoping she gives me some kick feedback today.

Also, I think she moved up this weekend, so that shift changes EVERYTHING.

Alright, a little disjointed, but glad I got a blog written. More on Wednesday.

-Em

Antibacterials.

Flagyl is available as a generic termed metronidazole. Common side effects for Flagyl, Flagyl ER and Flagyl Injection include nausea, abdominal cramps, stomach upset, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, headache, weight loss (anorexia), dizziness, or a metallic taste in the mouth.

-Wikipedia

Hello, welcome to my life for the past week!


The green mucus discharge came back, and while my OB prescribed flagyl, we hoped it'd go away before I had to take it. Well, it didn't. So I started the round of anti-bacterials again. It's not fun. The metallic taste is almost the worst side effect, but I mean, they're all not really pleasant. And the constant stomach pain makes me think I'm miscarrying.


Thank God for modern medicine--only a few years ago an infection could cause not only a loss, but a death for the mother. So yay for that! I won't complain too much. But I am so ready to be done with the Flagyl. And I'm SO READY to be closer to 30 weeks so I feel safer about baby if anything happens.


Anywho, aside from the above side effects, I also think (after talking with my doctor and doing some reading) that I have Pelvic Girdle Pain. I can barely lift my legs in bed. Rolling over is a struggle, and by the end of the day it hurts to stand. I tried walking, thinking I was just stiff, but it seems to make it worse. I just need to get to May 25th so pools open and I can swim. it's one of the few physical activities that doesn't hurt the hips, so come on summer, let's get these pools rolling! :)




Let's see, what else. I think I am feeling some movement, but nothing externally yet. I am hoping by 28 weeks my husband will be able to feel something. Again, it could just be gas from the Flagyl. But I'm pretty sure it's the baby. not much today, but she was pretty active yesterday, so I am thinking she's just tired today.


Work -

My brain is so foggy, you guys. I can hardly keep anything straight. even with crazy detailed notes. It is getting harder and harder to keep up, and we're extraordinarily busy right now. I also am struggling with caring. I know that's horrible. But I have a meeting today that is going to require some finesse and creative thinking to avoid pitfalls, and I just don't have the energy. I don't know how we're going to make it through four more months. Trust me, I want her to stay in there nice and healthy, but I'm going to really need some kind of help with mental clarity to make it through.


I'm also exhausted again.


Rolling my eyes so hard at myself. I am happy, trust me. I am overjoyed that things seem okay. But I'm logging this stuff because it helps to know what's going on for the future.


anyways, gonna try to get organized for the week. I love my baby so much, so I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.


-Emily