Growing Pains

If you've ever experienced a loss, and then a pregnancy afterwards, you are probably familiar with being hypersensitive to any tick, movement, itch, scratch or pain. This week is a week of pains for me and baby girl. As we move into our third trimester (June 3 we'll officially be in the home-stretch), I know in my head that she is putting on lots of fat every day and bulking up. At this point, she has all of her organs and they are maturing so she can live outside of my body. We are "viable" at this point, and doctors would fight to keep her alive. But this also means we will be gaining between 6 and 8 pounds between now and August 26. Which equals about a half a pound a week of pure baby weight.

That all being said, my stomach hurts.

Mostly up high, like under my chest and above my belly button. It wakes me up at night sometimes. and it itches. the itching! My boobs are sore, and my bras are definitely too tight. (new ones ordered). I feel "lightning crotch" a lot. It shoots from my lower pelvic area down my crotch. And that similar sensation can be felt all over my stomach. I know it's from her growing, but it still always makes me worried.

Next appointment is June 1st, and I will be asking the doctor if they check the cord again. My mom was told that her son was born with his cord wrapped around his neck in a knot (he was stillborn) so I'm uber nervous about anything involving cords. I want to know if that is being monitored. And a friend I work with has a sister in a high risk pregnacny, and the doctor took the time to show her an ultrasound of the cord and that it was not wrapped around the baby's neck.

What i'm learning is that this process is so dependent on your OB. if you get one really hands-on, you will get far more information and support. I think next time I will be hiring a midwife for these long months. Someone to go to for emotional support with questions. I also don't plan on being this heavy next time we get pregnant. I know it puts us at risk for so many more issues.

Anyways, other than that, we're trucking along. The hips are still extremely sore. I might be signing up for a water aerobics class on the weekends until pools open at the end of May. And I'm gaining too much weight. Already up to 301.6. I was 298 just a week ago. So I don't know how that's happening with a stricter diet, but it is.

As always, avoiding gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. But it's starting to feel more real. We're working on the nursery, and my family and friends are planning a shower... I could never envision our baby, because I had done so much of that with the first and then he disappeared into nothing but wishes and dreams. This time, as I feel her kick her daddy's hand (happened for the first time two nights ago) she feels more real. And I think she'll be here. I am starting to believe it. And have faith in my body. And counseling is helping me see that thinking negative thoughts doesn't counteract positive actions. I can be positive, see positive outcomes, and still have good things happen.

Emily