Blood. It's back. I can't seem to separate a pregnancy from bleeding.
I know I mentioned that about 2 weeks ago I had pink spotting and assumed it was implantation bleeding. Well, yesterday I had more pink spotting which eventually turned red. I also felt sick all day and was laying on the couch for literally 12 hours. I barely slept, my body is shaking, and I am terrified I am miscarrying. I also feel lightheaded, but I am fairly confident that is because I am worrying myself sick, not actual lightheadedness.
So far this morning I have not had more bleeding, but I feel like I am, and I feel crampy, and again, the shakiness. I am debating taking a half day and going home, but I don't want to use up my limited days because we're going to Ireland in two weeks, AND I might need a day to go do surgery if I end up miscarrying and need a D&C.
All things considered, I am surprised I have maintained this pregnancy this long. Between moving, holiday stress and parties, I way overexerted myself. And my poor husband who has been carrying us is at the end of his rope. I know he's about to break. Soo if we lost this pregnancy, there would be some good things that come out of it -- Ireland would be a healing time where we can both enjoy the trip without worry, I can help us make the final move out of the apartment, and we'll be guaranteed to get referred to a specialist OB who might be able to do some real tests and figure out what is wrong with my uterus.
But all that being said, I just feel very defeated. Everything was going so great, everything was so smooth, there was no bleeding, and now when we hit the same time I started bleeding last time here it comes.
I have been on a strict baby aspirin and progesterone regime this entire time, and still... We also had sex two nights ago, and I know sometimes that causes spotting, but this doesn't feel like spotting, this feels like last time.
I will keep this blog updated with progress. Going to the blood place today to get blood drawn to check levels.
-Emily
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