Feeling strange, hot, and wanting my period to start

If anyone who is reading this has ever experienced PMS, then I would like to tell you that I have been experienced AMPED-UP PMS symptoms for the past two weeks. 

Hot. Cold. 
Pain.
Cramps.
Anger. (So much anger).
Uncertainty.
Emotional rollercoasters. 
That feeling like you're about to start bleeding.
Eating everything around me (then feeling sick) 
Craving suits.
Absent-minded. 
Frustrated. 

Oh my gosh, it is nuts. And every time I go to the bathroom I hope to see blood (quite the opposite of the past few months!) because I don't know about you, but when I start bleeding the crazy hormones abate. I just want the sweet release of not wanting to bite everything around me. Yes, bite. 

Next Wednesday, I go back to the lab for a blood draw. Although the tests are showing completely negative, so I truly believe this is my hormones leveling back out. I also am not showing any ovulation on the home tests, so I will be starting to track my morning temperature. It's the most cost-effective way to watch my body for now. I'm debating investing in a nice thermometer, but I can't find one under 100 dollars without crazy reviews that have no consistency. So maybe I'll start off with just our regular old thermometer. 

I said I wanted normalcy, and this is apparently how we get there. I feel so bad for my husband. Last night I came home, we fought, I cried, and then passed out from exhaustion. And then everything was okay once I woke back up.... seriously. 

That all being said, I reached out to some women on the "Trying to conceive after a 2nd/3rd trimester loss" page, and they told me that I could not get back to a regular cycle for 12 weeks. Which, that breaks my heart, but I do feel better. At least I am in the realm of normal, and I will not be sterile forever. It sounds like most women experience their first period about 6-8 weeks post miscarriage. Which means I might be right in the realm of normal. 

Normal. 

I'm not entirely sure what life will be like now. I know the normal will be a new normal. And I'm okay with that. We also are looking at renting a house, so that could be an exciting change... or we'll stay in our crappy apartment and try to save money to buy a house. I don't know. I really am leaning towards getting my "Que sera sera" tattoo, because  I need to learn to sit back and let life happen and stop trying to death grip force it into place. t

-Emily

MTHFR explained

While carousing the BabyCenter "Subchorionic Hematoma Support Group" forums, I stumbled upon an incredible conversation about the MTHFR genetic mutation.

According to the poster, sometimes people with SCH find out later they have a genetic mutation on the MTHFR gene, which causes a lot of different problems (more research below). One of the side affects is that folic acid in the synthetic form--what is in most prenatals--cannot be processed by our bodies. Here is her quote:

"My friend was taking a prenatal made with folate. Some people, most people who develop and SCH later find out they have a genetic annomonly called MTHFR with 1 or multiple variants. Missing this enzyme the body cannot utilize folic acid and only a small percentage of folate found naturally in vegetable and food. Folic acid is man made and people with this annomonly cannot utilize it at all. The methyl version is already preconverted with the enzyme so the body uses it right away. No need to try and break it down." Babyjoy427

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a57019279/?cpg=2#c2505863098 

This is NOT scientific information that you should rely on--please do your own research before taking any supplements and talk to your care provider. I am not a medical professional in any way, and this is just my place to organize my thoughts before we TTC again this fall. 

BabyCenter is an extremely valuable resource for up-to-date information about this stuff, and long after my trials and tribulations are over, you might find that the ladies there have discovered even more relevant and current information to you. 

Apparently, this genetic mutation can cause depression, miscarriage, addiction, etc. Kind of crazy. Another good source on this can be found here: http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/gene/MTHFR 

I know we have discussed MTHFR before, so let's move along. 

I have started taking the Wondfo ovulation test strips. We are now 24 days post miscarriage (3.5 weeks) and no sign of a period. Or even really of ovulation. This worries me, as it means I could still need a D&C, but we're hoping that is not the case. There's a chance I ovulated and missed it, or I am just slow, but that is why I am testing. Best case scenario, I start my period later this week. Worst case scenario, we are still two and a half weeks away from a period. I am also going to test today for pregnancy, and see if that is still triggering the BFP on the wondfo sticks. If I am still showing hCG, then  I won't be ovulating, and then we'll just see what happens next week in my blood draw. 

Here is what I am hearing: 

1. Ovulation occurs 2-4 weeks after a miscarriage. 

2. Your period begins 2 weeks after ovulation. 

If my levels are still above 2, I won't be ovulating, and then no period, and then my body's hormones are all crazy and we need to figure something out with the OB. 

*I know most of this blog is a trigger, and I need to put a warning, but here is a big trigger* 

I am also tracking CM, because sometimes that helps me determine ovulation. Of course, I have been dry up until just last week. And what there is has been sticky, yellowish-tinted, almost globules. It is stretchy, but not creamy like lotion or runny like egg whites. I guess there is a possibility it is an infection, but I just don't think so. I think it's my body figuring out where it is in this process and pulling itself out of a nosedive of insane hormones. 

I will report back tomorrow on the results of the preg. test, and see how that compares to the one I took last Monday. I am hoping we are in the clear. This waiting thing is starting to drive me a little crazy! 

But on a brighter note, I went for a mile walk yesterday, and it felt really good. Tomorrow I will attempt GoldsFit, as my tattoo feels almost entirely healed. I will try it and see how far we get... no idea where my body is fit-wise, but I know it's worse than before. 

Weight - I have officially gone OVER my pregnancy weight. I don't know what's happening with me, i guess it's the food. I need to get it under control, because I know I can't do a pregnancy this heavy. I need to lose about 30 lbs before I feel comfortable getting pregnant again. And that's a LOW END estimate. I am going to try NutriSystem starting on Sunday. I think having a set of meals will help. We will see. Definitely frustrated. 

-Emily